Seattle: Progressive Politics of The Absurd

Did you know that the phrase 'brown bag' or citizen or actually offensive? Neither did I. But apparently Elliot Bronstein, head of the Office of Civil Rights does, and he sent out a memo saying just that.  Good god almighty.  I don't know where to begin, the fact that a government official is wasting time trying to find a way to turn inoffensive terms into offensive ones, or the fact that we have an Office of Civil Rights, or the fact that I live in a city run by officials determined to make us look like retards. Last I checked our roads were shit, we have a death trap called the viaduct and a growing gang violence problem. But no, my city has to waste time and resources on this kind of crap.

Hey Elliot, I got an idea, since a lot of people live in America who are not Americans, we should make it illegal for all government employees to say American or Americans when addressing the public. We should instead say Residents of America. Actually, scratch that, saying America is potentially office to the native peoples who lived in America before the evil white man came and took everything away we should call America by it's Native American name. Wait a second, we can't do that since the Native American people were diverse and had many different names for the land. Guess we can't do that because that would offend them.  How about this.  Every time a government official, or the president, wants to talk about the people living in America, we instead say, the racially, culturally, and religiously diverse people who resides in the lands between longitude 70 and 120 and latitudes 25 and 50.  That way no ones fucking feelings are hurt!